The Basics By Flame
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Preface
Editor's note: This, like many articles here at ladderwiki.com was originally a forum post. In order to keep the original spirit of the post I have left it in that style. Alright, preach to us Flame.
I'm bored and I just finished writing a paper... so naturally I want to write more... nevertheless, here we are:
Everyone I know fucks this shit up to some degree. So do I, actually, unless I am in the zone and super-aware of myself. However, these are all the BASICS of getting girls interested in you, which everyone should know and consciously WORK on. So without further ado:
Body Posture
Be RELAXED. Be CONFIDENT. How do you show this through body posture? For one thing, if you're alpha/confident/relaxed, you should NOT perceive anything in the room as a THREAT. Meaning, feel free to take up SPACE. Feet apart. DON'T fidget. LOOSEN up your shoulders. Lean your head back to rest WHENEVER you want. You OWN the room, nothing can intimidate you. TELEGRAPH this through your body.
Also, if you are comfortable, that means nothing should force you to change your comfortable position unless it is especially worth it. This means girls. Just because a girl talks to you does not mean you automatically lean in and start paying her all this attention. NO. You remain relaxed, maybe reclining, feet comfortable, chilling, and DON'T LEAN IN, until she makes it worth your while. Even then, it's better to have HER leaning into hear YOU.
That also means that if a chick turns away from you to talk to someone else, you DON'T FUCKING GO AFTER HER. You CHILL. You are COMFORTABLE. Just talk to someone else next to you till she turns back or you can re-start the convo at your leisure.
Voice/Tone Control
Just as you display your alphaness/confidence/coolness through RELAXED and CONFIDENT body language, so should your voice support this. This means:
DON'T talk too fast. Talking too fast shows that you feel some fear that what you have to say doesn't matter, so you are in a rush to get it all out. NO. What you have to say MATTERS. Enunciate and talk at your OWN pace. This way, more people are inclined to chill and listen, rather than if you had just blurted everything out.
PROJECT your fucking voice. I don't mean go around screaming, but if it is a loudass club with roaring music, you just may have to. Louder > softer, when in doubt. Speak from your diaphragm. Have AUTHORITY in your voice, EVEN if you are spewing 100% grade-a bullshit out of your mouth.
DON'T answer too fast or jump at her command. That means if she asks you something, you PAUSE, and THINK, and respond at YOUR LEISURE. Your words have meaning, they MATTER. ACT like it. This doesn't mean you have to answer LOGICALLY or SUPER INTELLIGENTLY, it just means DON'T be a little puppy dog responding to her whistles. You can even draw out the moment, then respond with something COMPLETELY RETARDED/FUNNY and if you're exuding this confidence, it won't matter.
Watch What You Say
Don't talk randomly. I mean, you can seem a little random, but within your own mind, everything should have a PURPOSE. Don't randomly babble about the weather or schoolwork or jobs. You want to fuck her, not interview her. Everything you say should EXTEND from this INTENT.
This means be AWARE of the interaction and act ACCORDINGLY. That means, if the girl is already attracted, DON'T go overboard cocky/funny/busting her ass. It will DETRACT from the interaction, because she's already attracted, you need to move FORWARD. Likewise, if she's NOT attracted yet, DON'T start connection/rapport shit, because there's no attraction base, you will get IW'd.
Famou PUA says: "...don't write what you can say, don't say what you can wink, don't wink what you can smile" NUFF SAID. Don't go overboard.
DON'T keep talking if you are not getting SOME response. HOWEVER, DON'T cringe and run away EITHER. If you say something cocky/funny and she does not respond properly, then you are hitting the wrong buttons. THINK and switch it up. Tone down the busting or tone it up. Try something different. If you are kinoing and it is making her lock up, tone it down or make it more playful. If a key doesn't go into a lock, you don't keep stabbing at that shit till you break your key. You just try a different key. SAME SHIT.
Stop Taking Shit So Seriously
The next hot chick you see at a bar is NOT your future wife, okay? There's a possibility that she MIGHT be, but that percentage is VERY VERY VERY LOW. Why? Simply because the chances of you guys being so perfectly compatible as to build a permanent and powerful relationship are miniscule.
Once you understand this, you should feel FREE and EMPOWERED. Girls shouldn't scare you. If you need to, imagine her as the dorky kid she was in middle school, with baby fat, and all the older cooler girls making fun of her. SHE'S HUMAN TOO.
The WORST that can happen is that you bomb and she thinks you are a loser. Ouch. But if you really think about it, things could be A LOT WORSE. You could've been getting a blowjob and gotten the girl's tooth poke your urethra for instance (don't ask). These girls don't MATTER in the long-run, right? At least, NOT until they EARN your respect. So if they don't earn you, don't WORRY about it, there are so many chicks out there.
Conclusion
Anyway, just felt like laying down some fundamentals. Moo.
-- Original by User:Flame, added by User:CertifiedIW
