Hopper Method
From Ladder Wiki
The Hopper Method is a dating technique developed by Billydee.
[edit] Original Text
For some guys, this is an obvious concept, but for newbies, it can be very useful to think of it the way I present it here.
For the concept I'm about to describe, it helps to have one of three pictures in your mind below. I'm going to use the 2nd one in my description, simply because the metaphor/analogy is more apt. But all three get a simple concept through very easily--at any given time, you should be dealing with more than ONE potential woman.
One characteristic I notice many IWs have is the tendancy to get oneitis with almost EVERY girl they have interest in. This clearly comes from a lack of self confidence. Specifically, the concern that they will not be able to land a girl of that or better quality again for a VERY long time. Thus, the willingness to bend-over backwards to make this one particular girl like them, being willing to put up with TONS of shit & shit-tests she throws their way, etc. Generally, supplicating & constantly trying to get validation from the one girl because he silently fears it's his only chance.
Many guys who fall into this category are also self-deluding. Instead of recognizing the truth (as stated above), they rationalize and tell themselves that they are, "honorable," and, "classy," because they do not, "cheat on," their girl with other women. They pride themselves on not being total garbage dicks & horndogs. In their mind, it is an "either/or" proposition--either you are a, "good guy," who ONLY dates one woman at a time until they flame out OR you are total player/horndog who never has a girlfriend but is fucking women constantly.
Nothing could be further from the truth. And thus, I give you, "The Hopper Method."
The Hopper Method is a way in which to live in both the world of the, "player," and in the world of the, "normal/boyfriend type guy." The general concept is that you want be CONSTANTLY keeping an eye out for cute women to flirt with. Most of the time, you'll only see them once passing in the street, but practicing flirting never hurt anybody. Occasionally though, you will run into somebody that might be a repeat customer--they're in class, in your apartment building, at your local coffee shop, whatever.
If you look closely at the picture, the fisherman has a basket, which I call, "The Hopper." This basket represents YOUR social capacity to juggle a certain number of women. Some guys can only handle 2-3 at a time. Others are social butterflys and can handle 10-20. The point is, that number is FINITE, but it is MORE THAN ONE.
As you go through your week and encounter a girl, strike up a conversation & start flirting, etc. If you see her frequently, there's no need to get her number--just flirt. If you're in a one-time-only situation, get her number. At this point, you have, "put her in your hopper." Early on, IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW HOT SHE IS. Just as early in the day when a fisherman's basket is empty, your hopper is empty right now--just get SOME fish into it.
As stated before, your hopper has some type of capacity--for me, it's about 4-5 women before I start losing track. So, just like a fisherman who can only hold 4-5 fish in HIS basket, his goal is to constantly have is basket FULL but ALSO constantly improving the quality of the fish. Once the basket is full in the morning, in the afternoon, each time another fish is caught, a decision must be made--"Is this fish bigger than any one in the hopper? If no, throw it back. If yes, then take the worst fish in the hopper, throw IT back, and place the new fish in the hopper." In this way, you are constantly improving the quality of the 4-5 fish in the hopper.
Now, extend the metaphor to women. At any given time, you should be actively working on 4-5 women--although they may be in various stages. Maybe one you're already hooking up with and trying to decide if you want a FWB or a GF out of her. Maybe two you're in the setting-up a date phase. Maybe two you've just met that week & have started flirting, etc. The point is, you ALWAYS have other options. And, assuming you are meeting new women faster than you are fucking it up with any woman currently in your hopper, you are ALWAYS slowly-but-surely trying to improve the overall quality of the 4-5 women in your hopper. The important thing is to BE HONEST when dealing with these women. It's unrealistic for them to expect you to be totally faithful when you've only gone on a few dates with them. Don't broadcast that you have a hopper, but if they ask, don't hide that you're dating other women either. It promotes comnpetition.
The Hopper Method is useful for many reasons:
- 1. It gives you practice and a chance to experiment in all phases of meeting & dating women.
- 2. It gives you a method of comparison--otherwise, how would you know if one girl is being a bitch & unreasonable if you have nobody to compare it to?
- 3. It reduces pressure to make any ONE particular girl work out, because you are secure in your knowledge that you have others in the pipeline.
- 4. The knowledge of #3 decreases the likelyhood that you will get oneitis and tense up too much over one particular girl.
- 5. It keeps you busy so you don't smother any one particular girl. Just like the guy spinning plates in the above photo, you need to keep busy to give each plate a little spin, then move to the next one. By the time you're done w/ the line of plates, it's time to go back to the first one and spin it again.
- 6. It will give you the confidence to call bullshit when you see it & stand up for yourself, because you always know you have several, "fallback," positions.
- 7. It provides an excellent way to search for AND KEEP a girlfriend. You just keep filling up your hopper with prospectives until one REALLY catches your eye AND she is cooperative & non-bitchy. Then you can put your hopper on hiatus while dating the new GF. Just reduce the degree to which you are flirting with the other girls, but NEVER completely shut them down. Just do some flirting, etc. This reminds the GF that other women find you attractive (even if you aren't dating them). Also, if it doesn't work with the GF, it's easier to just ramp-up the hopper again & fill it back up & start the process all over again.
