What Matters More, Good Looks or Solid Game - by Billydee

From Ladder Wiki

Regarding the question of: "What matters more, good looks or solid, 'game'?"

• Serpent wrote, "wow it's coming out of the mouth of a experienced girl too. so when bitches say personality is more important are they saying it to lure in potential IWs?"

No, that's NOT the case AT ALL.

First of all, stop calling women, "bitches." It's a clear sign that you are a newbie and was recently burned and are still bitter, vulnerable & wounded. A common mistake that former IWs do is to over-compensate and swing WAY over to the other side and become total Outlaw Bikers. In fact, IWs and OBs have the same problem: insecurity & a lack of confidence. They just happen to cure/compensate in different ways. IWs try to cure it by being too nice and hoping it will make up for their insecurity. OBs try to cure it by adopting this cartoon mask of a badass and keeping/pushing women away because they are too afraid of being hurt emotionally. Both go for the EASY route--glossing over their insecurity, sweeping it under the rug, etc.

Instead, if they want to REALLY solve the problem, they need to take a good hard look in the mirror, ADMIT that they're insecure, and figure out/work on the root/core of the problem. Dig down deep & address the issues from whatever relationship or childhood dynamic that made them insecure. THEN, they need to overhaul themselves, and basically build themselves up psychologically from the foundations all over again. This is a TOUGH task to do. I takes honesty, humility, TIME, effort, and a willingness to admit that they WERE/ARE a giant pussy and are willing to put in the energy to change their ways---but in an HONEST and hard-working way...NOT in a way that will simply cover-up or gloss over the problem (like being an IW or an OB).

But anyway, I digress....

Yes, women say they want a guy w/ personality & a sense of humor. NEWS FLASH: THEY ACTUALLY MEAN IT. Think about it. We are ALL social animals. We depend on social connectivity and interaction with other humans. When a guy is confident & has a personality & has a sense of humor, and has social awareness (i.e. HE HAS GAME), that means that he is good at navigating the social fabric and the enviornment that he's presented with. He understands human interactions. He knows how to win friends, influence people, avoid (or destroy) obsticales & enemies. To women, this translates into: "He knows what he's doing. I am safe with him. If I stick with him, I will be protected and will be guided through the choppy waters of this dynamic social environment. I can relax. I can focus on what's really important in this world, which is caring for my children. My children can grow up & learn in a safe environment because this man that I am with is a solid guy and is helping to CREATE this safe enviornment for us."

So yes, having personality, a sense of humor, intelligence, being socially savvy is VERY attractive to women.

But guys need to address the OTHER side of the equation too: Good looks, being built/in shape, dressing well, etc. The fact of the matter is, there was a day when humans were just simply animals with no logical reasoning and just pure animal instinct. We've advanced over time, but there's still a little part of us who are very animal and instinctive, especially when it comes to mating & reproduction. Think about it. When you get horny, doesn't most of your brain just SHUT DOWN? You aren't thinking about your job, or the latest news, or sports scores. Your reptilian & limbic part of your brain basically hijacks your body to the point that you are a machine/robot who just wants to fuck. Well, I have another News Flash: Women are NO DIFFERENT!! Women like to fuck & have sex just as much as men. When they see a powerful, stylish & confident guy who is good looking, they can't HELP but want to fuck them. I don't care what modern social movements say. Don't get me wrong, I 100% support the modern social movements and advancements that women have made. I think they're great. But the simple fact is, you cannot undo 80,000 years of human evolution with 100 years of social change. Humans are hard-wired a certain way, and despite what recent social movements have communicated, one cannot simply undo the hard-wiring that quickly.

What does this all mean? The evolutionary stamp & the social movement are incongruent. It basically presents a confused image/impression/picture to the modern male. He asks himself, "What do women really want? A guy who is good looking, or a guy who, "has game?"

The answer is: A little bit of both.

It all goes back to reproductive biology & social constructs. Read my previous, "Billydee's Classic Posts" in the GLD for details. The fact is, women want a guy who is good looking (hot, sexy, etc.) AND who can provide stability, resources, can guide her through the choppy waters of life, etc. She wants it ALL. HOWEVER, due to social biology and social psychology, it is "uncool" for women to admit that they want to be fucked & totally dominated. If they say this openly & publicly, they will be labeled, "whores." So, when people ask women what they want in a guy, she just OMITS the fact that she wants a strong, good looking guy to pound the SHIT out of her, (because she's afraid of being labeled a whore), and instead, just says, "I want a guy who is confident, knows what he wants, has a sense of humor," etc. Then she HOPES that people read between the lines and understands that--even though she isn't SAYING IT--that what she ALSO WANTS is that guy who is strong & confident who will completely dominate her and fuck her brains out. If you think about it, guys are the same way. Ideally, we want this strange hybrid/combinaton of a girl who is smoking hot & sexy who we want to fuck, and a girl who is comforting, nurturing, motherly, etc. so she would be a good mother to our children. If a girl is too much "sexy," she is labled a slut. If a girl is too motherly & nurturing, she is un-sexy and is labeled the, "good girl," or, "little sister," that you don't want to fuck.

It's all about balance.