How to recover from being an IW, and become Alpha
From Ladder Wiki
This article will explain a number of steps that can be taken to recover from being an IW. This resource includes many different techniques and theories to bring one's social skills to a respectable level. However, one must realize that they will not transform overnight, and that it will be difficult. The following phases are in chronological order, meaning that while "Bitter Misogyny" is listed as a 2 week duration, keep in mind that it comes after two other phases, so you won't reach that phase until 2-4 weeks from initially coming into contact with information here.
Contents |
[edit] First Encounter With LT
[edit] Dose of Reality (1 week)
If you haven't already read Ladder Theory in full, do so now. In fact, you may want to read the Original Version of the LT as well. Its cold, hard truth, "tough love" approach often helps drill in some ideas to people new to it. Let these ideas sink in and open up to the idea that it describes a lot of positions you've been in - if you're an IW.
[edit] Next Your IP (1~3 weeks)
This is the first step to real recovery. This is important because you must abandon your old life of supplication and whoredom. See How to NEXT - by themuz for more info. Keep in mind that a big, elaborate "I hate you" speech (or "NEXTing Ceremony") is only going to make things worse. Take the whole couple weeks to phase her out and distance yourself from her in a civil manner. Most importantly, get her out of your head.
[edit] Bitter Misogyny Phase (2 weeks ~ 6 months)
It's expected that you will be bitter by having your reality sharply altered about how you've been interacting with women your whole life, if indeed you've been an AFC and an IW. Chances are you'll begin to hate women. This is not the final intention of LT (anymore), and should not be a goal, nor stopping place. However, it is a common early phase of transformation, and it's understood if it takes place. It's okay to get this out of your system, but have the underlying intention that eventually, this will pass and you will no longer hate women. Eyes on the prize. Read Self-Confidence, Insecurities, and the Value of Your Own Life.
[edit] Post On The Forums (Ongoing)
Forums are currently being re-worked, due to technical difficulties and politics. Eventually a link will be here with a public forum for the Ladder Theory and IWs, and it's recommended that you tell your cry stories there about your mistakes with women, and others will review you. You'll have some sympathy, you'll have some encouragement, and you'll also have some verbal beat-downs. Take it like a man, realize most users there have made the same mistakes, and they're trying to fix you up. Being exposed to an environment such as that will slowly toughen you up.
[edit] Resolve For Self-Improvement
[edit] Re-Education (6 months ~ 1 year)
Re-read the Ladder Theory Wiki and work your way down the main page. Focus on the Hopper Method, Kino Process, and Demonstrating Value, Self-Confidence, Insecurities, and the Value of Your Own Life. Hopefully at this time, any animosity for previous women you had relationships with is dying out, and you'll be taking responsibility for your actions. Re-read the material in your newer, more mature light. It will strike you differently at this time.
[edit] Read About Successful Techniques With Women (1~4 weeks)
Go to FS.com and read the Fast Seduction 101 Player Guide. You don't have to believe in the (im)morality of all of it, but read carefully. You should realize many things about the interactions between men and women. Especially read the articles on Negging and Kino.
If you're like most IWs, you think logically, even when it comes to relationships. The M3 Model will help you logically digest your relationships with women. Memorize it. Use it.
Go to Kino Process and follow all the links there. Realize that being comfortable touching people is a sign of confidence, and is thus attractive. Of course, don't overstep your bounds and get inappropriate.
[edit] PRACTICE THE MATERIAL!! (1~12 months)
You MUST get out and try the things you read about. The only way to learn social skills is through practice, the same as any other skill. Set aside days often to go out and specifically try one technique or the other. Keep reading stuff from fs.com and Ladder Wiki. Feel free to share in the forums.
[edit] The Fruits Of Your Labor
[edit] Relax About Women (Preferably, the rest of your life)
This might be the most important step here. Quit doing "game", quit worrying about girls, and find yourself again.
If you spend your entire day doing something you enjoy, you are naturally going to be confident. With the knowledge you've absorbed over the last few months, some of it should be internalized by now, you can quit thinking so hard about whether or not stuff is working or what's going on. Chill out. Also, eventually even if you don't have any skills, you'll come across a woman who enjoys your same interests. Go on adventures, see interesting sights, and meet new people. Don't forget to tell stories of your (mis)adventures.
[edit] Work Out (Optional, helpful)
This step is included more for your sake than for women. A better body makes you feel more confident in your skin. Get a gym membership if you have to, but try to look more fit. Either go for the buff look, or the athletic look (think Brad Pitt in Fight Club). www.bodybuilding.com is a good resource, along with the IW.com forum members.
[edit] Above All Else, Never Give Up
"[F]or no one will love that which gives him pain, and in which after much toil he makes little progress. " - Plato's Republic
Re-read the above quote. Realize the fact that you will have bad days, where you want to go back to the old ways. Realize that this same feeling happens to everyone and that it's natural. Then remember all the things you disliked about being an AFC. Reprise your efforts. Only through personal struggle does one create true self-confidence.
--CertifiedIW --RedSeraph
